Posted on 01.11.12 by A_Gibb
Cannot believe I have been doing this blog for a year…!
Starting it, a series of stories, good and bad, basically about working with my husband, I worried deeply that it would inevitably lead to a complete crumble of our marriage…that Doug would just find the whole thing too cheesy and I would have to confess in a tweet that actually I was working with my ex-husband….
Hang on though, as I said, I have been doing this blog a year now, and we are still together, so, preparing this post made me wonder if meeting these challenges and surviving them, I could have inadvertently gathered some wisdom along the way, that I could impart to others…
I came across a guide online that someone wrote, to her son I think, on the eve of his wedding day
25 Tips on How to Stay Married:
1. Always put her first – before work, friends, even basketball. Act as if she’s the best thing that ever happened to you, because we all know she is.
2. Keep no secrets. Pool your money. Allow nothing and no one to come between you.
3. Pick your fights with care. Play fair. Show some class. Hurtful words can be forgiven, but they’re hard to forget.
4. Fall in love again every day. Kiss her in taxis. Flirt with her at parties. Tell her she’s beautiful. Then tell her again.
5. Never miss an anniversary or a birthday or a chance to make a memory. Memories may not seem important now, but one day they’ll be gold. .
6. Never give her a practical gift. If she really wants a Shop-Vac, let her pick it out herself.
7. Go to church together, and pray every day for each other and your marriage.
8. Pay your bills on time and make sure you each have a living will, a durable power of attorney and life insurance, lest, God forbid, you need them.
9. Love her parents as your own, but don’t ask them for money. Never criticize her family or friends. On her birthday, send flowers to her mother with a note saying, “Thank you for giving birth to the love of my life.”
10. Always listen to her heart; if you’re wrong, say you’re sorry; if you’re right, shut up.
11. Don’t half-tie the knot; plan to stay married forever.
12. Never go to bed mad; talk until you’re over it, or you forget why you were mad.
13. Laugh together a lot. If you can laugh at yourselves, you’ll have plenty to laugh about.
14. Never criticize, correct or interrupt her in public; try not to do it in private either.
15. Remember that people are the least lovable when they are most in need of love.
16. Never fall for the myth of perfectionism; it’s a lie.
17. When you don’t like each other, remember that you love each other; pray for the “good days” to return and they will.
18. Tell the truth, only the truth, with great kindness.
19. Kiss at least 10 seconds a day, all at once or spread out.
20. Memorize all her favorite things and amaze her with how very well you know her.
21. Examine your relationship as often as you change the oil in your car; keep steering it on a path you both want it to go.
22. Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally, and never stop growing spiritually.
23. Never raise your voice unless you’re on fire. Whisper when you argue.
24. Be both friends and lovers; in a blackout, light a candle, then make your own sparks.
25. Finally, be an interesting person, lead your own life. But always save your best for each other. In the end, you will know you were better together than you ever could’ve been apart.
Gosh I wish someone had written all that to Doug the night before our wedding!! I’d be in heaven…I am not sure he would have actually read it though…
This is obviously a very advanced guide to marriage…I thought I would write, for the benefit of my readers, some rather more achievable tips and, in Her Indoors time-honoured tradition, post some on Facebook every day until you are sick of them!